The High Protein Chickpea!

Calling Israeli food scientists!

From Lord Baelish, my fictional character crush in Game of Thrones:

"One of two things will happen. Either the dead will defeat the living, in which case all our troubles come to end. Or life will win out. And what then?"

I am not one of those “The world is ending” people. To find those, you need to merely consult Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, or quite a few of your liberal friends and relatives. I hear people say on a regular basis, “The world is coming to an end,” especially since the November election. I find this kind of thinking unproductive. I also notice that most of the people saying this in the US cared none at all, or even cheered, when on October 7, 2023, 1200 people who were in Israel did have their lives come to an end, and almost everyone there knows someone who was killed, taken hostage, or has been killed in the fighting since.

Perhaps since I have been through several life-altering catastrophes, I try to dwell less on what bad things might happen and instead be open to possibilities. The first day I ever tried my “open to possibilities” meditation, I got a call from a person who has become one of the most pivotal figures in my life. Totally out of the blue, or so I thought. “Open to possibilities” doesn’t mean you don’t make a living or take your life-saving medication, it just means you try to be open to things going wildly differently from how you thought they would - and the future actually being better than you imagined.

The thing I love about Baelish’s quote is that it states the obvious: if the world ends, we can stop speculating. But what is life wins out? What then?

With many terrible, frightening, anger-producing things happening in the world right now, one can either crawl into a hole of despair, post performative meltdowns on social media, attempt to do something productive, drink oneself to death (I do not recommend) seek salvation in watching the same Israel Update episode over and over again (I highly recommend) and/or imagine a better future and work to make it so.

For my part, I will watch Israel Update, text my worldwide family friends, and dream of a better world. To that end, I suggest what would make the world a better place, something that combines my passion for Israeli food, low carbohydrate nutrition, and scientists.

Calling all Israeli food scientists, and all others too: We need a high protein chickpea.

People think that beans are high in protein, but they’re not, not as compared to meat or egg whites. There are 365 calories in a half a cup of chickpeas, but only 7 grams of protein. For a small person who is trying to keep calories low and protein high, that’s not a great ratio.

What the world needs now is an engineered super high protein chickpea that tastes exactly like regular chickpeas and has the same texture, so it can be used in all the same ways. You could call it a chickenpea! No, that sounds horrible. High octane hummus? Super-strong falafel? I love to put chickpeas in my Israeli salad, along with the happy tomatoes, cucumbers and peppers, sea salt and juice of fresh lemons. I got the idea from Gavriella, and I continue to eat it everyday. If you can’t be Israeli, you may as well attempt to eat like one.

I learned about low carbohydrate diets from my long time friend and mentor, Dr. Richard David Feinman (the live biochemist, not the dead physicist!) who writes on Substack at Nutrition in Crisis. Some of you came over here from there, for those who did not, be sure to check it out!

My former partner and now super close friend MR aka The Giraffe also taught me about the importance of protein, back when I read everything he had ever written before we met. I had been a lowfat vegan before I met started reading his writings, followed by a year or so of eating too much of everything and drinking too many margaritas after work at Happy Hour. I lost 36 pounds by increasing my protein and fat and cutting out carbs other than vegetables and fruits. I even stayed away from beans for awhile… but I missed them.

Oh chickpea, humble, versatile chickpea, how I love thee. My old cat Kieffer used to love to chase canned chickpeas that I’d throw across the room. He’d hunt them and eat them. Started to meow for chickpeas the second I picked up the can. Strange cat. Good taste though.

I wish chickpeas had more protein. Someone can do something about it. The tiny country with so much innovation and so many chickpea dishes seems like our best bet to solve this problem.

Does anyone know any Israeli food scientists? Can you float this idea?

Given how important protein is for maintaining muscle, surely this invention could be valuable in preserving the health of all Israelis, who have to stay in shape. It is really a matter of national security: chickpeas with more protein could make the already greatest army in the world even greater.

This might even be a way to build a bridge with vegans, who far too often fall into that category of whiny leftist who think they have common cause with terrorists. They may think they hate Israel, but on some level they’ve gotta know they need a high protein chickpea.

The world isn’t ending. And I bet we all love chickpeas. So please, do your best to think of a way put some meat on the bones of an idea whose time has come!

This salad needs some high protein chickpeas!