TDS: Tarantula Derangement Syndrome
How can you not love a furry little eight legged critter who is the embodiment of peace, love, and intermittent fasting? (TW: pictures of tarantulas and of me with pink highlights)
As I went into the yoga studio for class today, the studio owner whom I’ve known for over a decade said, “We will be in Studio A. Grab two blankets, two blocks, and a bolster.”
“And a tarantula?” I asked.
“No tarantula, please,” they said.
“You don’t think tarantula yoga would be nice? It could be so calming to have tarantulas crawl on us during posts.”
They rapidly changed the topic to their new seven month old puppy.
Apparently tarantula yoga is not everyone’s idea of a restorative practice.
I’ve been telling the students that I want to start a business training therapy tarantulas to be emotional support animals. This makes more sense in context than out of, but I have to limit what I write about. Anyway, the kids, for the most part, do not think they would want an Emotional Support Tarantula.
It is kinda cute to think of a tarantula wearing an emotional support animal vest. To the extent that tarantulas wear vests.
Arachnophobia is such a common phobia as to have its own name. It is quite socially acceptable to be afraid of spiders, and even to kill those who do no harm and in fact do good. For instance, Daddy Longlegs are very beneficial spiders who consume pests. Yet some people kill them, even using toxic sprays that harm everything and everyone else, because they hate spiders.
Sometimes a fear, or a hatred, or a combination thereof, makes people do things that are not in their own best interest and even irrational. That is when one might label it a derangement syndrome.
In a post I was reading by a teacher who keeps 210 tarantulas I learned that tarantula keeping can become addictive. He says that friends who have started with just one tarantula soon find they have a dozen and more. He also mentioned that he knows people who say very mean things about tarantulas:
Others may have negative reactions to them
The fact is, arachnophobia is one of the top phobias in the word, and with fear comes revulsion. Instead of respecting these creatures and understanding that they are very beneficial, many folks loathe them. Those who want to share their love of tarantulas with friends may discover that they are met with a very hostile audience. Worse still, people living with roommates or family members may experience resistance when asking to bring a pet spider into the home. Personally speaking, I was absolutely forbidden from keeping any tarantulas when I lived at home because my mother was arachnophobic. Others have also been given the hard pass by roommates and significant others. If you ARE in a living situation that involves others, it’s important that you address any potential issues sooner than later.
I am very pleased to see that my principal (well, I suppose he’s not mine yet as I’m just a sub, but he’s my principal in the sense that Daenerys was “My Queen” to a great many long before she won the Iron Throne) is not one of those people who is close-minded about tarantulas. Charlotte is quite unobtrusive and most of the kids in the school don’t even know she’s there, but I’m sure her dad had to ask permission to keep her in the school. Maybe she pre-dates Mr. M though… or his tenure as principal. I’m sure this is information I could find out, as people are more than happy to tell subs most anything at the slightest provocation. It’s one of the most fun parts of the job, like being an undercover agent with no mission and no boss.
While I am not surprised if the children have some unpleasant reactions to the concept of a tarantula, I think it is a mark of good character when an adult is willing to co-exist with a giant furry spider (appropriately housed, of course. I’m not saying you have to sleep with one, in fact, I think that would be suboptimal for all involved.) Irrational hatred for a furry creature who is simply doing what God designed him or her to do is… well, irrational, and mean. I do not care for people who would harm a tarantula that posed no threat to them. And while I would not wish to socialize with an Old World one that is known for being very defensive and unfriendly, I’d still be happy to work in a room with them if they were in their terrarium.
Not long ago I was asked about situations in which I become defensive. I’m really glad I didn’t know about how defensive Old World tarantulas can back then. I fear the middle school teacher side of my personality might have said, “Oh you know, when I’m feeling like and Old World Tarantula. Then I bite when all you’re trying to do is change my water dish.” No, Ms. Smith, some days you have to speak to the adults as though they are adults. Keep practicing, you’ll get the hang of it!
Hating tarantulas is another TDS: Tarantula Derangement Syndrome.
There is no need to get upset about a tarantula. Tarantulas are fundamentally good creatures who eat pesky critters such as roaches and keep the environment clean. They are easy and inexpensive pets and can help cure arachnophobia!
How can you not love a furry little eight legged critter who is the embodiment of peace, love, and intermittent fasting?
I think that pastel hair looks really good on these creatures:
Doesn’t this guy make you want to get pink highlights again? Okay, they look better on a tarantula than they did on me!
This was about a decade ago when I had just quit my job to become a freelance writer and I thought pink highlights were cool. Now pastel hair is the norm around here and I’m unusual because my hair is a natural looking red.
This one makes me want to say, “Hi sweetie! Of course I have stickers!”
Sending love to all those who are cool with tarantulas. We see you. We wave at you with one of our eight legs.








“ Sometimes a fear, or a hatred, or a combination thereof, makes people do things that are not in their own best interest and even irrational.” History of the World since before we began recording events.
I've loved spiders of all kinds since I was a kid. It may be "Charlotte's Web" that got me started. Everything I know I learned from books.