Stupid Things People Say When You're Not Jewish and You Support Israel

"But you're not Jewish..."

Beloved worldwide family and ten remaining non-Jewish friends,

I thought you might be interested to hear more about what non-Jews say when they think no Jews are present. In this instance, I bring you: “Stupid things people say when you’re not Jewish and you support Israel.”

In the months since October 7, I have heard a lot. I’m not going to say I’ve heard it all because I’m sure tomorrow someone will say something even stupider, but I’ve heard a lot.

An overarching theme is that since I’m not Jewish, I either shouldn’t care or should hate Israel like the white anarchists crying racism all the time do. Another is a distinctly condescending kind of gas lighting: attempts to convince me that I don’t know my own mind, and that I am just being used by some powerful force that I can’t see but that the progressive/leftist men around me can clearly perceive.

Here is a sampling. I’m sure I will remember more:

1. “But you’re not Jewish!” As though the only people who should care about our strongest ally in the world are Jewish people. Do these people remember 9/11, when similar jihadists attacked on American soil and killed a lot of people who weren’t Jews? It’s about us all, y’all.

2. “Israel has been attacked before. Why are you so upset about October 7?” Uh, do you know what happened? I won’t recount it here - we all know what I mean. This person apparently either doesn’t believe it or doesn’t care.

3. “Don’t you know that Israel was installed by the British as a puppet of white colonialism?” Don’t you know that that is factually incorrect?

4. “But the Palestinians…” Imagine this in a whiny voice uttered by a pink haired bar tender at a pizza shop I no longer frequent. Enough said.

5. “Things are fine for Jews here. Why do they need Israel?” This is wacky on so many levels that you may not believe that someone actually said it, but they did. Then I found an entire article to that effect, written long before October 7. For one thing, even if every hipster in Park Slope and that new hipster neighborhood in Brooklyn whose name I can’t remember moved out, there isn’t exactly room for all of Israel in Brooklyn. Second, Israel is there and is not going away. Third, things are not fine here. Fourth, what up with this idea that one “puts” Jews somewhere? Do we just “put” Russians somewhere? Other than, say, Russia? Who gave Americans or anyone else the right to tell Israelis where they should be?

6. A lot of variations on “That didn’t really happen” or “That’s not what they meant” or “It wasn’t that bad.” You know the drill: “River to the sea, Palestine will be free” is more like a spiritual thing, not a call for removing all Jews from the area from (do these people even know which river and which sea?) Or when I mention an act of antisemitic violence that took place somewhere in the world, such as the burning of a child care center next to a Jewish school and synagogue, covered with antisemitic graffiti, in Australia, it’s clear that the person both hasn’t heard of this and doesn’t quite believe me.

7. Which brings us to our next variation: tons of ways of saying, “You’re just being hysterical, it’s not that bad, no one wants to kill the Jews, you’re making it up.” Obviously this happens to actual Jews all the time, but I’m guessing I’m getting a special flavor of it as someone who isn’t Jewish and therefore in the speaker’s opinion should be going about my business and having performative meltdowns about issues in the US. Because that will help… no one.

8. “But there’s nuance…” I get this from my Jewish friends more than anyone. And I’m fine with that. Many of you have spent time in Israel, have been concerned about the plight of the Palestinians for years, and are deeply worried about the conduct of this war and the long term outcomes. I respect that. But here’s my perspective: even if I didn’t have one Jewish friend, even if I didn’t care much at all about the long term survival of the Jewish people, I’d still be supporting Israel. This isn’t just a Jewish issue, and I think we make a mistake by allowing it to be framed as such (a topic for a more in depth essay.) This is an issue for all who love Western civilization, Jewish, Christian, none of the above and other. “Globalize the intifada” and “Death to America” seem pretty straightforward to me. Israel is fighting for all of us, while Americans can enjoy nuance from the comfort of a home without a bomb shelter, without being woken up every night by sirens, without watching our daughters be paraded on a stage and forced to smile after fifteen months in hell. The young woman whose dog was shot to death by Hamas terrorists who then blew off two of her fingers and dragged her into Gaza? I’m with her. (EMILY! EMILY! EMILY! Watch the video.)

9. “You’re probably just doing it for some guy.” Okay, on this one I’ll at least own that it’s not a crazy charge. I’ve done some pretty extreme things in my day for some men who were, in fact, worth it. But seriously folks, there are way easier ways to pick up Jewish men than losing friends, risking your safety, and likely facing professional consequences for coming out in strong support of Israel. I’ve been dating Jewish men since I was 14, long before I wrote a word in support of Israel. It is not exactly a state secret that I have a thing for Jewish guys, but I would say that this is the least effective pick up strategy I have ever encountered. Much more effective is, for example, standing around looking pretty and making good conversation. No risking of anything required. No, I really support Israel.

10. “You’ve got to get over it.” This came up early on when the yoga studio I used to attend hosted a month of workshops “in solidarity with Gaza,” ending with, “How Israelis weaponize yoga.” You know, I don’t think the problem is that Netanyahu did one too many downward facing dogs. I wrote to the studio owner, a long term acquaintance, twice, to ask for dialogue. I asked why the is decision had been made to put on these “workshops” and what was being done to make our Jewish and Israeli community members feel safe. I got no answer. I said I would no longer attend classes there and was told, “You’ve got to get over it.” No, I don’t. If a yoga studio made anti-black or anti-gay or anti-trans statements everyone in the neighborhood would not only boycott it, they’d probably burn it to the ground. I simply decided I would not patronize an openly anti-Israeli establishment, and made this known to the owner, in a polite and peaceful manner. If we don’t do things like that, if people don’t know that there are consequences for attacking those among us who are Israeli or support Israel (whether Jewish or not), how can we expect anything to change?

I hope you have enjoyed this non-exhaustive list of stupid things people have said to me. I’m sure the new day will bring more.