From Urban America to Tel Aviv in Two Clicks

Israel Update Erases Despair

When I was in my early twenties I used to say, “Next time I get my heart broken, I’m flying to Tel Aviv and… seeing all the sites.” (That’s the “school appropriate” version, as we say in middle school teacher speak.)

Over the twenty-five years since, I’ve gotten my heart broken many times. Yet I’ve never set foot in Israel. Odd, considering that my father, of blessed memory, went so many times.

Yesterday at the end of my workday teaching, I felt exhausted despair. It was heartbreak, not over some guy, but over the circumstances in which I teach. We are up against so much as we try to rescue urban black kids from the spiral of poverty.

As I try to even get the attention of screaming seventh graders to teach them anything, I sometimes think it is hopeless. They are so deep into technology addiction that they have no attention span. Few like to read or write. The ones who do are extraordinary, and I do all I can to nurture their growing minds. Then there are the sweet ones who just need attention and want to play with the fidget toys I bring to calm them. They hug me and say, “Hi Ms. Smith” and want to stand behind my desk.

Yet there are those who are so disruptive that it is literally impossible to teach a class in a way that you would imagine teaching. And this is in one of the best schools. In spite of amazing teachers and administrators who dedicate their lives to the next generation, too many kids are absorbed back into a culture where they have few options.

This is what urban teaching is like. Everyone in the system is trying their best. I have tremendous respect for the people I’ve worked with over the years. I challenge any critic out there in the suburbs to come in and do what we do. They’d run out after two minutes. It is not the fault of the teachers or administrators. We are fighting problems that are decades, centuries in the making.

As I waited for the bus, an oasis of peace after a week of listening to literally screaming seventh graders all day (think of that - a crowded city bus is peace?) it occurred to me that this life is not for me. I’ve been in and out of it (though it was not my long term career - I was a union organizer and executive for 20 years then got my Masters in Public Health and do that off and on - it’s my favorite) and I think I am pretty good at what I do. I will finish my assignment, support the students and the teachers and administrators I’ve come to admire so much, but my future lies elsewhere.

It was sad, but also a relief. No more making decisions about applying for permanent teaching jobs again. I may need to substitute or just do it to keep my hands in, but this is not my fight.

I came home to a wonderful surprise. After way too long, Israel Update had dropped another podcast.

This one was probably my favorite ever. I sat transfixed at my computer and watched it. Just like I used to watch Star Wars movies every Friday night and feel transported to the world of my superheroes, watching Gadi Taub discuss the latest in Israeli politics, I felt like I was in Tel Aviv.

The despair washed away. I went to sleep and dreamed of being there. It was so real that I woke up and had to remind myself that I had not, in fact, taken a quick overnight trip.

My best friend said I sounded completely different this morning. There are some very exciting possibilities on my horizon, but I’ve been so plowed under with my teaching work that it’s been hard to see or move on them. I’ve been exhausted, on every level… then I wasn’t.

It was nice to see both Gadi and Mike looking happy. As we know, I love it when Mike corrects Gadi’s English, and this episode was heavy on that. I repeat the Hebrew words to try and learn them.

I’ll watch it again tonight and absorb more of the content… last night I just needed that shot I sometimes feel when I connect contact with what I call the flame of Israel.

And yes, I bought tomatoes at the farmers market, so tomorrow I will be making my Israeli salad. If you can’t be Israeli, you may as well eat like one.

https://www.tabletmag.com/podcasts/israel-update/israel-update-israels-legacy-media