Will Michael Kinsley Be Jealous?

The original writer crush: 1993

When I told my mother that a few entries of my blog were fan letters to another controversial author, she asked, “Will Michael Kinsley be jealous?”

A valid question indeed. I am pretty sure that Michael Kinsley will not be jealous because I don’t think he ever knew that he was my first celebrity writer crush.

I began reading Kinsley in 1993 when he was on Crossfire and writing the TRB column for The New Republic. I’ve already told a story of the Yale Political Union, where political types geeked out, made out, and grew up to make history. So it can be no big surprise that the summer after my freshman year at Yale (which back then we called “frosh” to be politically correct) I read The New Republic, The National Review, and The Nation faithfully and feverishly. I was able to do this because not only was my mother a full time library director, she was a PhD student at the University of North Carolina’s School of Library and Information Science (from which she was awarded her second PhD, about twenty years after her first, which was in Biblical Studies from Duke.) I had access to any periodical I wanted in the vast libraries of UNC, and I used that privilege extensively. I also took little naps on those couches on the mezzanine. I am a true librarian’s daughter.

That summer I worked in a used book store on historic Franklin Street in Chapel Hill by day and watched Crossfire and obsessively read Kinsley by night. I loved how he sparred with Buchanan and then Sununu, I thought he was absurdly attractive, and most of all, I loved his writing.

In the library at UNC Chapel Hill, I took down the bound periodicals of The New Republic and carefully, by hand, photocopied every single TRB column Kinsley had ever written. I even got back all the way to the college newspaper articles he wrote while an undergraduate. That took effort. Back then, there was no Google or internet. I had to work for it. It was worth it.

I love the rhythm of Kinsley’s writing. When I read his writing again now after many years I can see how much of my own style I owe to him. His beat is embedded in my mind. Read this, in which he uses the incredible line, “We all commit the occasional faux pas, be it using the wrong fork or urging mass slaughter.”

I learned from that. Love his content, agree with his view points, or vehemently do not, you gotta love that style.

I read Kinsley’s columns to my mother as bedtime stories. I medicated my evening anxiety by watching Crossfire at just the time when an anxious young college student’s worry would start at night. I would fantasize about a time when I would no longer be an undergraduate, and I could wind my way into Kinsley’s orbit and ask him out, but alas, it never happened. I became a union organizer straight out of college and fairly soon after landed in Philadelphia, not DC. He eventually married Patty Stonesifer, well known for her leadership, including at Microsoft and the Gates Foundation. I love it when men I adore marry smart women. I can’t even bring myself to be jealous. Well, maybe a little. It’s more “reee-spect” in a loud, Katy Perry tone of voice.

Erica Jong, somewhere in her vast body of work, has a line that goes something like this: “We fall for men because we want to be them.” In a world where options have historically been very limited for women, adventurous, assertive, and anti-censorship women like me have found role models in men, and often those men are older, more experienced men who embody the things we want to become. From rockstar journalist to legendary union organizer to harm reduction activists to innovative scientists, I have never had to look further than the men I was attracted to to figure out who I wanted to be.

Almost thirty years since my superstar crush on Michael Kinsley, I am now a freelance writer and journalist. And I can hear his voice in mine. A friend of mine wrote me today, “I checked out Michael Kinsley and I CAN see his voice in yours--cogent, direct, funny, self-effacing, snarky at times, compelling, connects directly really well to his audience.”

One more quick story from the Yale Political Union days and I’ll wind up this long fan letter.

Back in either my sophomore or junior year at Yale, John Sununu, the one who then sat opposite Kinsley on Crossfire, came to speak at the Yale Political Union. It was the privilege of all past and present officers of the YPU to attend the pre-debate dinner at Mory’s with a YPU guest. I went to the dinner with Sununu with one intention: get him to hand deliver a note to Michael Kinsley. I remember the dress I was wearing. It was a long, button up, slightly silky blue number. Very grown up and professional.

Mr. Sununu was very gracious when presented with this odd request from a former Chair of the Liberal Party. Governor, Chief of Staff, television star, and… courier? Sure enough, he delivered the letter! A few weeks later, I got back a Crossfire postcard with a handwritten note from Kinsley himself! I framed it. I wish I could find it… it’s been lost somewhere in too many moves, likely destroyed in a flooded basement in the 2000’s. But I will hold it forever in my heart.

So Mike Kinsely, if you’re out there, if you’ve ever wondered what happened to the fan girl who sent you a letter through John Sununu, I’m right here. And I’m writing.