They Don't Even Know The Hostages' Names

A Non-Jew grasps what my Jewish family knew all along

I may be intellectually quite quick, but I am sometimes emotionally slow. My old therapist described me as a “slow burn.” I can be very upset or angry about something and not realize it for six hours, six days, or six months. A delayed reaction that is probably an adaptation to trauma, it can come in handy when you are trying to fight a war (of any kind) but it can lend to confusion and realizations when you least expect or want them.

I have been following the release of every hostage in this new deal, holding my breath along with all of Israel and many of our Jewish family worldwide. I watch the videos of how these brave people are tortured in their final moments of captivity, forced to wave on stage and smile, forced to walk through hordes of “civilians” who suddenly found fancy military uniforms and are about to lynch the hostages on their final walk to freedom. This is all on video, there is no question about it. Women who have been raped, beaten, kept in tunnels with no sunlight, starved and given only sea water to drink now have to walk through crowds who spit on them and jeer at them as they make their way to family, home and freedom.

And does America care? Not really.

The release of Emily, Romi and Doron was eclipsed in American media by the bizarre accusation that Elon Musk did a Nazi salute. Three young women, held in captivity for close to 500 days, make it to freedom and tell their stories, and we’re worried about Elon Musk’s socially awkward gestures? Do I think it’s an accident that this “story” eclipsed the release of the hostages? No I do not.

What I have come to realize, slowly over the last fifteen months, is that most of my American friends who are not Jewish simply do not care. They do not know the names of the hostages or that they are being released. They do not want to hear their stories. They’re up in arms about things that did not even happen, such as the non-cancellation of Medicaid, and they’re extremely concerned about people who have been convicted of crimes being deported, but when it comes to Israeli women who have been raped, tortured and held captive… no time for that.

I suspect that my Jewish worldwide family is not surprised at all. I shouldn’t be either. I have an intellectual understanding, largely gained from years of studying World War II and the time before and after, of how little Jews matter to most Americans. As Holocaust survivors searched for a place to go, the US turned most away. Americans were not in World War II to save the Jews. American joined the war to save civilization, and that is a very good thing. I wish the spirit of saving civilization were a little more alive on the Left today.

My first experience with a non-Jewish friend dismissing the Hamas October 7 massacre came on October 9, when a non-Jewish friend gave me a ride to do an errand. He’s a very nice person, devoted to his son who is trans, and in general a very good friend. I had spent the weekend calling and texting and emailing my Jewish friends to check on them and offer support. He was the first non-Jew other than my mom with whom I had spoken since that horrible Saturday.

I asked him how he was doing with what was going on. Was he okay?

He had no idea what I was talking about.

I clarified, and he said, “Well, Israel has done a lot of bad things too.”

I almost exited the car in the middle of Market Street. Getting out of a moving car in the middle of the busiest street in town is perhaps not the more effective gesture of solidarity with Israel and the Jewish people, so I remained in the car, but I remained in shock. WTF? How can you not care?

Another non-Jewish friend who eats dinner with me once a week also did not care. His opinion of the situation in Israel: “We should have given them Brooklyn.”

I can’t even take that on. We are still friends and I don’t cut people off because their political beliefs are inane, but we avoid the topic.

Recently, a young Jewish friend who I really respect, admire and care about sent me a confusing text. He said, “I think your opinions are to the right of the majority of American Jews.”

He also sent me a book that I am reading and we will discuss, Zionism by Milton Viorst. I am all about read and discuss. I love book clubs of two! I love to exchange articles! I love dialogue! So good, but…

If my opinions are to the right of most American Jews (my politics perhaps summed up in the fact that I have a fan girl crush on Gadi Taub - do you think he’ll have coffee with me when I go to Israel? I promise not to come onto him! Unless he’s single and straight, in which case all bets are off, but don’t tell him, the element of surprise can work in one’s favor!) but as I was saying, if my opinions are to the right of most American Jews, why should that bother me? I am not trying to win a popularity contest among American Jews. I am not running for non-Jew of the year. I respect and value the opinions of my Jewish friends, on everything, not just Israel (do y’all have a vote as to what color I should do my hair next? More Sansa Stark red or more Lady Melisandre red?) but I form my opinions as a person who loves Western Civilization, and I take my cues more from my Israeli friends who are actually on the ground.

You are not surprised that non-Jews don’t care. I was. Silly me. Be patient with me, I am new.

One group of people who do care, I am finding, are normal, middle American Christians.

I happen to participate in an entirely non-political group of people who gather on a daily basis on Zoom. It is largely comprised of people who literally live in the middle of America, in small cities. The vast majority are Christian.

One of my Christian friends from the group told me that she and a friend were studying a book called “One Hundred Hebrew Words that Christians Should Know.” Her friend also gave her a little “I support Israel” flag to wave in solidarity as the hostages came home. I text her in the morning to let her know when the hostages are released. Someone cares. Just not East Coast progressives, as far as I can tell.

My good friend Mark Judge, a serious Catholic and conservative, cares. Read this piece he wrote on the Left’s silence in the face of stark evidence of rape of Israeli women.

I am beginning to come to the conclusion that normal, middle America supports Israel. Just five days ago, The Hill covered a new poll showing widespread, bipartisan support for Israel.

Who are these nice people, and where can I find them?

My father cared, but even he was unaware of much of what was going on. I remember when I mentioned the Amsterdam pogrom at the soccer match to him, he said, “That’s the first time I’ve heard it described as a pogrom.” He got his news from CNN and MSNBC and the New York Times. I seem to remember they called it sometime like a demonstration and some mainstream news outlets actually blamed Israelis. Jews get beaten up = they did something to deserve it.

So I suppose I will go on about my business, writing what I believe in. Perhaps that will give some of you more space to say what you want. I hear from a lot of my readers that I say things you wish you could say. Happy to help.

Love you all, worldwide family and a few non-Jews who have stuck with me. I’m in it with you till then end, and as we know, there is no end.