I don't think a little order is a bad thing. We cannot function in chaos. Its only when maintaining the order becomes more important than actually accomplishing your goal that you know it may be stepping over a boundary. And order is very Zen. The thing I hate the most is when the area I am supposed to live in, is in full chaos. I am constantly making sure that everything on my desk or my bedroom is all in order.
I am one who really didnt like the reasons they gave for Anakin becoming Darth Vader. I found it shallow. Fearing that the person you love is going to die is a normal human emotion. Lucas missed out big time on this one. He should have concentrated more on the fact that Ani was a slave and that it had to do with the abuse he suffered as a slave. In a perverse kind of way wanting to free the universe by controlling/owning it. It would go along with the idea that those who are abused as children, then turn around and abuse their own children.
I didn't really have any punishments as a kid. I was a goody goody kid. I was probably the only teenager without a curfew too. My boys weren't much different. I never really had to give them much punishments except some time outs occasionally. There is nothing wrong though with making sure a child knows that there are consequences to actions both good and bad in this world.
Order and discipline can be taught, and sometimes self taught. They are good, foundational values. In high school I got swats from the vice principal for getting into a snowball fight in front of a minister’s house when several errant projectiles struck board siding. I started teaching myself those values. The results are, alas, still mixed.
I never behaved as a kid. I never understood what they were asking me to do. It wasn’t intentional, but it was the 80’s so they wouldn’t believe me that it wasn’t on purpose. I give our kids a lot of room because I am not a big fan of rules. We need rules. They must be enforced and evenly. But I like to keep that to an absolute minimum. Too many and things get unpleasant for no reason. I want our children to feel comfortable and relaxed at home, not to want to go elsewhere to experience acceptance and freedom from judgment. Home should be a place to be yourself, not a place to be nagged at for not putting your bag away. It’s a balance.
I don't think a little order is a bad thing. We cannot function in chaos. Its only when maintaining the order becomes more important than actually accomplishing your goal that you know it may be stepping over a boundary. And order is very Zen. The thing I hate the most is when the area I am supposed to live in, is in full chaos. I am constantly making sure that everything on my desk or my bedroom is all in order.
I am one who really didnt like the reasons they gave for Anakin becoming Darth Vader. I found it shallow. Fearing that the person you love is going to die is a normal human emotion. Lucas missed out big time on this one. He should have concentrated more on the fact that Ani was a slave and that it had to do with the abuse he suffered as a slave. In a perverse kind of way wanting to free the universe by controlling/owning it. It would go along with the idea that those who are abused as children, then turn around and abuse their own children.
I didn't really have any punishments as a kid. I was a goody goody kid. I was probably the only teenager without a curfew too. My boys weren't much different. I never really had to give them much punishments except some time outs occasionally. There is nothing wrong though with making sure a child knows that there are consequences to actions both good and bad in this world.
Just so you know: where I grew up, & where I live now, people stop for pedestrians.
Order and discipline can be taught, and sometimes self taught. They are good, foundational values. In high school I got swats from the vice principal for getting into a snowball fight in front of a minister’s house when several errant projectiles struck board siding. I started teaching myself those values. The results are, alas, still mixed.
I never behaved as a kid. I never understood what they were asking me to do. It wasn’t intentional, but it was the 80’s so they wouldn’t believe me that it wasn’t on purpose. I give our kids a lot of room because I am not a big fan of rules. We need rules. They must be enforced and evenly. But I like to keep that to an absolute minimum. Too many and things get unpleasant for no reason. I want our children to feel comfortable and relaxed at home, not to want to go elsewhere to experience acceptance and freedom from judgment. Home should be a place to be yourself, not a place to be nagged at for not putting your bag away. It’s a balance.