Purrtue Signaling
Submit to your furry overlords right meow!
I’ve been so worried about my Israeli friends and my American Jewish friends and the future of our world that I haven’t spilled much electronic ink on the true recipe for saving civilization:
CAT WORLD DOMINATION!
We all hate it when liberals virtue signal, (okay maybe not all of you, but the ones who are still reading me!), but let’s be honest: it’s important to purrtue signal. We must show our loyalty to our furry overlords at all times and in all places.
In case you’re not really working hard at this, let me make some suggestions. They may seem obvious, but if you’re not doing them on a regular routine, you are a traitor to the cause of CAT WORLD DOMINATION and you may someday be eaten like a mouse.
Ten Ways To Signal Your Loyalty to Cats:
Adopt a cat. Obviously. If your cat allows it, adopt more. Adopt an old bonded pair or a mom and all her kittens! Rescue a cat from an anarchist house where they want to name her after some murderous anarchist from the 1950’s in India!
Put up pictures of your cat on social media. All social media. All the time.
Wear cat related clothing. I got a t-shirt for free at the cat shelter where I volunteer that says “My cat is famous on the internet.” People are constantly asking if my cat is actually famous on the internet. I guess it’s a conversation starter.
Volunteer at a cat rescue! It’s a great way to make a difference and meet pawsome cat people!
Pepper your speech with cat speak. Things are not awesome, they are PAWSOME! Saturday is Caturday. Friday is Furriday. Thursday is Purrsday. Get it? Got it?
Donate to a cat shelter! If you have any money at all, put it where your fur is.
Help other people find the right cat for them. People who work from home and need Zoom-friendly lap cats? We got that. People with kids who need energetic playful cats? We got that. It’s important to match a catonality with the personality.
Do not use the term “owner.” We do not own our cats. I say that my cat and are in covenant relationship. Like a marriage, except WAY better!
Feel free to offend people who don’t like it when you call your cat your furrbaby.
And take it from the one Gen X man I seem to get along with: “Do not mess with a woman and her cat.”
My version of this as we moved into actual wartime was, “Here we go, folks! Hold onto your cats!”
So funny, April. Purrfect!