On not giving up for Lent
And a happy Ash Wednesday to all!
On Facebook today, I read a post that said, “For Lent, I’m just giving up.”
To be honest (and why not?), I felt that way this morning myself.
Some days it’s hard to get out of bed, hard to drag myself to the gym, hard even to sit down on my meditation cushion. Today was chilly again in the Northeast, almost like in olden times when it got cold! Lent comes at the ideal time of year for it, when we are waiting for spring but it’s still winter, and it’s that gray, boring part of winter, with holidays over and snow either not falling or turned all slushy and covered in dirt. It can be a time of anticipation and preparation, or it can make you feel like giving up.
In the many years now I’ve spent working with people who wanted to change something about their lives, the one necessary ingredient for change, one that could not be replaced with any other, is a refusal to give up. Most change doesn’t happen instantly and most change worth writing about doesn’t happen easily. Workers trying to organize would often feel like giving up, but the ones who succeeded kept going anyway. People try to change their relationship with substances many times before they succeed in reaching their goals, and often before they even figure out what their true goals are.
The only thing worthy of giving up on is a goal that is not really yours. Have you ever chased long and hard after something, only to realize it’s not what you wanted after all? I’ve done that - it was a PhD in a program that wasn’t right for me. It wasn’t really my goal, but I had convinced myself it was because I thought it would be my ticket to redemption and approval after a visit to rehab and a trip to Recoveryland. Pro tip: do not make any big life decisions on your way into or out of rehab. I think the Steppers and I agree on that.
I’m guessing that if you read this blog, you and I may have some goals in common. I’m very interested in not just maintaining but improving my health as I age. I’m getting closer to fifty, and while I’m fortunate that I’ve been able to hold off the worst diseases of aging so far, I know that if I don’t work hard at it, I’ll end up with high blood pressure, diabetes and likely a stroke. In 2016 when for a brief time I gained up to the threshold of obese for a woman my size, I both had high blood pressure and tested prediabetic. I lost the weight (ditched the desk job too!) and lost the conditions, but they will come back if I’m not careful. No amount of self-acceptance will change that, but eating well and working out sure does. In a nice loop, those things make me feel good too.
I am also interested in helping myself and others optimize all the good things in life, like time with friends and family, creative contribution, and innovation in the fields of our choice. Just like my hero Peter Attia, the inspiration for this new venture into blog land and eventually a podcast, but on a budget and a little shorter. Living well, healthy, long and happy should not just be for people with a ton of money. I’ve long wanted to show how I work an Attia-like program for pretty minimal cash. It’s all about small changes. (And if you’re reading this, I love you Peter!!! With all respect to Jill!)
It can be hard not to give up, when it seems that change is expensive, unattainable, too hard, only for the cool kids, something that people without jobs, kids, problems, issues do but not for us… but right now, just refusing to give up is enough.
A few years ago, my closest friend and Chief Science Officer of my life gave me Maggie Smith’s Keep Moving. I highly recommend it. Sometimes you just have to keep on going another day.
And check out Attia’s interviews with Matthew Walker, PhD, on sleep. Goodnight!