Olive Garden Democracy

My favorite chain takes a stand

I imagine you have heard about how the Olive Garden requires photo ID to redeem the “Never Ending Pasta Pass.”

For $100, the first however many users (I hear it is sold out) could buy a pass that would allow them to eat unending pasta at Olive Garden for 13 weeks. But they cannot transfer it to any random person, including their family members. The pass can only be redeemed by the person to whom it is issued, and they may have to show photo ID.

It has been my experience that the Olive Garden is a place of racial and social class harmony. People eat in peace, not yelling or screaming. No one destroys property. No one fights. No one swears at servers. I doubt that everyone tips as well as my mom and I do, but no one defecates on their booth either.

The Olive Garden is paradise for the not-rich who still want a nice, sit-down meal to share with family or friends. The food is really pretty good, the servers are nice, and the atmosphere is kitchy but cute. I may have my birthday lunch at the Olive Garden.

People of different classes, different races, different religions and nations of origin, all agree to show ID and basically behave in order to get a decent pasta dinner, maybe with an appetizer of soup or salad and those delicious breadsticks. I mean, who wouldn’t behave properly for that?

It is getting harder and harder to counter the argument that Democrats want open borders and no voter ID because they want illegal immigrants to vote. I’ve always doubted that… I think it has to be more complicated, with the downstream effects of cheap labor being the main force at play. But you have to wonder when they so stringently oppose any attempt to prove that those who vote are in fact the people who are registered and eligible to vote.

Honestly, this deal is amazing. Unlimited pasta, breadsticks, soup and salad. Obviously, EBT should cover this pass! Feed people for thirteen weeks for $100! The pasta, soup and salad at the Olive Garden are much healthier than the free school lunches and breakfasts that taxpayers provide every day to all the students in the School District of Philadelphia.

I have a feeling that even Marie Antionette would be in favor of this.

Let them eat pasta.