Mango Pop Tart

How to get kids to stop using foul language, if only for a moment

Urban teaching is hard. Urban teaching can be depressing, and not, perhaps, for the reasons you might think. The quote attributed to Peter Drucker, “Culture eats strategy for breakfast,” says it all. Culture eats nice facilities, electronic equipment, including school-issued Chromebooks, dedicated teachers and administrators, buildings cleaned over and over again by hardworking custodians who see the classrooms go from being spotless when they leave at night to littered with candy and chip wrappers, broken pencils and incomplete or ignored worksheets at the end of the day. The hard reality that dawns on a teacher is that we have the kids for a slice of their day and life - the environment just outside the school has them for the rest of the time. iPhones, social media, video games and gang culture are hard to fight all at once.

The violence is scary, though most of the time it is not directed at teachers. I’ve seen teachers go to the hospital after they got caught between students who were fighting. Most of the time I can choose to go to schools where these kinds of fights do not break out, though there is always low-level violence. Tension is programmed into my body from bracing to protect myself, but most days it’s okay. It’s even great when I’m on the bus with an obviously not well local and some eighth grade boys I teach get on the bus… I know I’m safe cause they’d take out the crazy dude if he got violent in a minute. “We got ya, Miss,” they say. So much of the time I love them.

What I find gets to me is the constant stream of foul language, especially what polite white people call “the ‘N’ word.” Black kids use it constantly in conversation among themselves. They call each other “N,” if they are boys, and the girls are referred to by another foul word that begins with “B.” Other most common words begin with “p” and refers to female anatomy, or “s” referring to excrement, and then “f” of course, and someone is always talking about how someone disrespected them.

As an English, social studies and vocabulary teacher, this bothers me on multiple levels. For one thing, the vocabulary is just too small. Second, as I tell the kids, people fought to get the “N” word to be unacceptable in polite society, so let’s respect those people, shall we? Third, talking this way will not help you get or keep a job.

The things that kids say would shock you, nice liberal in the suburbs. But what makes me cry is thinking about these kids accidentally saying the wrong thing to someone in the world outside the school and getting punched, shot, stabbed, or arrested. Or losing a job because they can’t control what they say. “Don’t get in the habit of using bad language,” I urge the students. “It’s a hard habit to break, and you don’t want to talk that way on a job.” But talk that way they do, in spite of my best efforts.

So I try to get them to participate in conversation that does not involve foul language. It’s a matter of keeping them engaged and a little off-guard. I model proper English, professional behavior, and a lot of kids ask if I’m a) British or b) Mary Poppins. Of course the answer is “Yes.”

Today one of the kids had Pop Tarts, and one of his classmates remarked upon it.

“You have Pop Tarts?” I asked, “And you’re not sharing them?”

I then asked the kids what their favorite kind of Pop Tart is. Cookies and Cream. Cinnamon. Strawberry (I’m with the Strawberry kid.)

Next, I posed the question, which became the burning question of the day:

Should there be a mango Pop Tart?

The students had strong opinions, and quite a few insights.

Some were horrified. Among the reasons why there should NOT be a mango Pop Tart are:

• Mangoes should only be eaten by themselves, not with other things like pastry, out of respect for the perfection of the mango.

• Mangoes are too acidic like lemons or limes, and no one would make a lemon or lime Pop Tart.

• Mango things should only be cold, like mango ice cream or mango lassi.

• Just no, Miss. Just no.

Other kids made the argument that I make, which is that if you can have cherry, strawberry and blueberry Pop Tarts, the mango should not be far behind. I love all things mango, from lassi to dried mango to frozen desserts to sorbet that maybe I shouldn’t have eaten an entire container of the night before a glucose test though it was more than 12 hours. I adore Pop Tarts, so much so that I don’t buy a box and keep it in the house. If I buy any, I eat two and give the rest away before they can end up in my adipose tissue for all of eternity.

One kid today said, “We should all just give it a try.” That young man has a future in politics.

I looked online and I can’t figure out if mango Pop Tarts ever really were, or if they were just a joke at some point. I did, however, just order some Pumpkin Pie Pop Tarts on Amazon, which proves that someone should cut off my Amazon account after a long day of watching kids eat snacks in class.

Getting the kids chatting about something unexpected is one of my big tricks in teaching of any kind. I have a wacky, eccentric side that I don’t get to indulge in most jobs. With kids from about sixth grade through high school, you can be a bit fanciful and they’ll come along for the ride.

There are still kids out there who think I have dragons. I can neither confirm nor deny.

When I do something a little weird, the kids are shaken out of their automatic responses and become present in the moment. I hope I can do some relationship building and even a little teaching then.

What do you think, beloved readers? Mango Pop Tart, or no?

PS: The mango Pop Tart appears to be available on Door Dash. If anyone tries it, please report!