Happy 81st Birthday, Mom!

Feeling blessed to have my mom for 51 years, and still going.

My mom is 81 today. She still drives, lives independently, takes care of two demanding kitties, and preaches at church. She’s never abandoned me through many struggles, and I’m so blessed to have her. We went to our favorite restaurant, Seasons 52 in King of Prussia, for birthday lunch.

The restaurant does a wonderful job with birthdays. In addition to this cute sign, they wrote her a very sweet birthday card and put a candle in her dessert. Seasons 52 specializes in healthy seasonal cuisine, and they have little tiny desserts that are just right for a taste and not too heavy. She had key lime pie, I had carrot cake.

We started out with flatbreads: grilled artichoke with feta and tziki sauce, and chipoltle shrimp with grilled pineapple and feta. It’s hard to go wrong with feta and grilled pineapple in my book, and I adore artichokes and shrimp. Then we each had a Tuscan bean soup. There’s no pressure to order entrees there, and Mom had been craving crab cakes, so she had the appetizer crab cake. We got exactly what we wanted and stayed for several hours. I left a very nice tip for the waitress who was so pleasant and refilled my Diet Coke three times.

About half of my friends my age have already lost their mothers. I understand how very blessed I am that my mom is still around, still together, and able to go out for lunch. Things aren’t as easy as they used to be, but she does really well. I’m proud of her for sticking with physical therapy for a long time after her joint replacement surgeries and trying to stay healthy. One of her birthday presents is Premier Protein shakes, so she can keep getting the protein she needs even though she feels like eating less these days.

So many people I know have either been cut off from their parents or cut their parents off. While I can’t and don’t want to judge anyone else, I cannot (look MR, I got cannot right!) imagine not having my mom in my life. There will come a day when she is no longer here, but until that comes I want to spend as much quality time as we can together.

My dad is at peace with God in heaven - I truly believe that. I bet he is playing baseball with my uncle and thinks he is going to be a pro someday. Maybe he gets to talk to God in Greek and ancient Hebrew. He never had pets close to him to meet over the Rainbow Bridge, but maybe Pretzel, the dog he and my stepmother got a few years ago who didn’t live long, is there with him.

Holidays can be hard. My mom has been through many holidays alone. Until my dad died, I spent half the holidays with him, so my mom was alone much of the time. He always got Thanksgiving, so for years she either went to someone else’s house or just had a turkey alone. We usually spent Christmas together though. Some years I was sick and unable to be together - those were terribly sad times. I regret them, but I try to focus on making the NOW as good as I can.

We really don’t know how much time we have. Lately I’ve tried to focus on the present, to truly be where I am. In the morning when I cuddle Loviefluffy for her morning pettings I focus on being completely with the cat, loving her sweet little purr and the way she puts her face in my hand and wants me to rub her teeth (yes I rub my cat’s teeth. Got a problem with that?) At school I focus on the kids in front of me. I love every moment of chit chat with my colleagues. “Do you have stickers?” rings in my ears and makes my heart sing. “Of course dear, you can have stickers.” I go the long way out of the building so that I can give stickers to kids as I walk around the building. Sometimes I go out the door without the handrail so I can say goodbye to Mr. M. He wears the school gear most of the time, and with the hot weather we’re having he’s been wearing jeans and a school t-shirt. He looks approximately 25. I love to take a moment to appreciate what he’s built in fifteen years of dedication to that one school. I may be able to understand it better than most, since I’ve been so many places where the principal doesn’t walk around illustrating the vocabulary word ubiquitous. I may never be a full time employee - the Lord is willing or he is not - but I can enjoy being a part of the community for now, contributing what I do, and appreciating something that is so hard to achieve. It’s not perfect, but it’s better than anywhere else. I know what they are up against - what we are up against - and I see the hope and promise that is stronger than the despair and failure that surrounds us outside the school walls.

A book I loved when I was a kid had a quote that comes to mind: “You don’t have to own Sequoia National Park to be glad it’s there.” Maybe I’m just camping. Doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the wildlife.

(I’d better let this analogy go before I get eaten by a metaphorical bear!)

The tulips are magnificent. The birds start singing at about four am. There is so much to be grateful for, even though all is not how I planned.

Or is it because all is not how I planned?