Gifts from a Rabbi

What is my place in all of this?

Shalom worldwide family!

I’m sorry I’ve been away… I’ve been attending to some rather pressing business. All is well, just busy. I have never stopped thinking of you though, and of our sisters and brothers in Israel. I still cry almost every night thinking of the hostages. Perhaps worse is the cruelty of so much of the world that will not call for their release.

As you know, I have felt very alone here, with my friends spread out from New York to Jerusalem (spelled it right this time!), but finally one of my friends managed to connect me to one of his friends who connected me to one of his friends who practically lives around the corner! And a rabbi at that!

While my phone kept trying to convince me that I was off to meet a rabbit, I met last night with this rabbi at his office. We had a fantastic conversation ranging from the conversion process to the long standing place of what I think can roughly be translated as “friends” of the Jewish people to the politics of our neighborhood (ugh) to hopes for peace and fear for what will happen both there and here.

I have been so warmly welcomed by the worldwide Jewish family, and am amazed at the kindness of people who reach out to me. It was fantastic to sit down with someone in person.

As I was leaving he gave me two gifts. This one:

Created for U Penn students to wear. I worry so much for those young people who are on a campus where there has been so much antisemitism. They are very brave to wear their support for Israel.

And this one:

He only had a few left from a trip to Israel in January, and it was so kind of him to give me one that I can hold as I pray. The Hebrew translates to: “Our hearts are held captive in Gaza.”

It is the first object I’ve ever had that was directly from Israel, to my knowledge. My friend points out that I might own something that was made in Israel and not know it, but you know what I mean.

I ask myself and others: what is my place in all of this? At the risk of quoting Star Wars:

Rey: There’s something inside me. It’s always been there, but now it’s awake, and I don’t know what to do. I need someone to show me my place in all of this.

Luke says, “You need a teacher. I can’t teach you.”

An argument follows.

Writing, yes. Is there more? I can’t leave my cat and my mom and go volunteer. As I sit here and freeze and look at the graffiti on the sidewalk that says “Free Palestine” and does not mean “Pray for Peace” or “Two state solution,” I sometimes wish I could.

But I can do more here.

It’s not someone else’s war. For every non-Jew who thinks this is just the Jew’s war, you are wrong. This is a fight for civilization. Do we want to be a culture where women have rights, people can be gay or trans and proud, and we can practice our religion as we choose (or at least that is the idea?)? The people who are rioting and blocking highways are not trying to save civilians in Gaza. For some reason, they hate America. The very America that gives them the right to protest… though it does not give them the right to violently disrupt others’ lives, and I do wish someone would enforce the laws of this country.

It is frustrating to watch my non-Jewish friends ignore the war and pretend it does not affect them. It is even more frustrating to watch as they ignore the antisemitism all around us. Or worse, join the absurd mob.

So for now, I will write. What next, I ask. Suggestions?

And I will pray. For the first time in years, I am really praying. Bring them home.