Doctors, Girls and Weight

How a sentence can become a sentence. (TW: Anorexia)

Today I read a piece called I Could Have Died of Anorexia: Today Girls Are Being Pushed Toward Something Worse. I highly recommend that you read this piece for yourself. The author’s story of maturing as a woman early and being told by her doctor that her BMI was too high at age twelve, putting her at risk for diabetes, reminded me of an unfortunate incident with my doctor when I was the same age. Both stories underline the importance of what medical professionals say to young people, and to grown up ladies such as myself as well.

The author of the piece, Liza Libes, tells of how after this statement from her doctor - when she was not overweight, just matured early and very tall - she developed anorexia and had such a bad hormonal reaction that she started to grow hair on her chin and lost bone mass. Fortunately she did not die and was able to restore her health through a great deal of effort. Her story is all too common. She got her “diagnosis” from her doctor in 2010 - I had my problematic encounter in 1987. But the result was scarily similar, though I didn’t go nearly as far down the anorexic path as she did.

I also developed early. I got my period at ten, was 5’2” at eleven, and by twelve was wearing not just a bra but a C cup bra. I remember asking my mom, “Does this make me a slut?” when I was fitted for such a large bra. Women don’t always love being large breasted, especially when we are young. Creepy grown dudes were hitting on me in seventh and eighth grade, so I’ve had plenty of time to get used to it. The attempt to hide breasts and curves can start young, as many assumptions are made about women and girls who are above average in the chest. I did not consider it a blessing at all, and I certainly did not appreciate being curvy in the 1980’s when Kate Moss really was the height of fashion. There was no fat positive or body positive movement (both of which I could live without), or even curvy Victoria’s Secret models. Being a rail was the thing to be, and I was not.

I also struggled with terrible cramps, for which my doctor eventually put me on birth control pills. This worked well and prevented me from passing out from the pain or destroying my stomach with huge doses of naproxen. But it did necessitate a lot of visits with my pediatrician, a generally nice and caring woman whom I’d been seeing since we moved to Raleigh in fifth grade.

In eighth grade, I weighed 108 at 5’1.5”. I didn’t get any taller until in my thirties I actually gained a half an inch due to doing lots of yoga. I hear this happens. Point being, I was at my full adult height, and I weighed a perfectly normal weight for an adult woman of that height. But…

My doctor told me that my weight was too much for my age.

Needless to say, I was horrified. Just like most other girls, I had asked my best friend a million times, “Do you think I’m fat?” “Do I look fat in this?” but hearing it from my doctor was something else entirely.

So I stopped eating. Not entirely - I ate at home. But I stopped eating lunch at school. I would get a cup of ice and chew on it while my classmates ate their school lunches. I went from 108 to 92 pounds.

You might wonder why my parents didn’t freak out, and I remember them being concerned. But at that time, all the girls were shrinking. If anyone asked me why I was losing weight I would honestly say that my doctor had told me I was too fat.

A few years later when I went to a performing arts high school, I saw some of the worst effects of anorexia. Girls in the dance department were graded down on their grade reports for gaining weight. They had to weigh in weekly and got lectures about not eating pizza… or really anything. Some of my closest friends were eventually hospitalized with anorexia. Fortunately all survived and many were even able to have children. But a lot of damage was done.

I’ve always suspected that I didn’t go that way because I saw what it did to my closest friends. Perhaps I had a bit of survivor’s guilt - I felt that they had saved me through their suffering. Maybe I got them back when many years later I went through hell with alcohol - but I don’t believe it works that way. We’ve all had our crosses to bear. I’m just glad we all made it out alive.

These days, I work with my old friend Dr. Richard Feinman, PhD, a biochemistry professor and researcher in low carbohydrate diets, on his Substack, Nutrition in Crisis, where I’ve posted a few guest posts. Here is the latest. My long story with nutrition is the topic of another blog (I had one for seven years, most of which was unfortunately destroyed), but the short version will be told soon in an upcoming podcast of Boundless Body Radio with Casey Ruff, who also loves cats!

I wrote in Dr. Feinman’s Substack about my struggles with perimenopausal symptoms, including weight gain, and my doctor’s useless to demeaning responses. It seems that this is not at all unusual, and I need to find a good women’s health physician who actually knows about this phenomenon that affects all women who live long enough.

Medicine like any other human endeavor seems to be greatly influenced by fad and fashion, and I’m not surprised by how many people have lost trust in the medical and public health establishments. I’m glad I have a degree in it and can read studies for myself, not rely on science “journalism” or heaven forbid, the idiots on the internet. The anecdote can be a deadly weapon, and one or ten people’s experience do not add up to the truth. But I do think it’s helpful for us to share our experiences, as Liza did in her post or as EKB did in a recent post: Pilates.

[Side note: Project MEOW, the cat shelter I volunteer with, is hosting a “Purrs and Pilates” event that I can’t go to, but I wonder if it involves kittens climbing on people in mid-plank. That would be… pawsome!}

I’ve been through two rounds of blood tests trying to get to the bottom of some bad fatigue I’ve had for months, and my doctor keeps refusing to order tests that you would think any sane person would order. I had blood drawn again today, and they took so much that I wondered if there are vampires back there having a snack at my expense! We shall see…

Pop on over to Dr. Feinman’s Nutrition in Crisis if you are so inclined and check out some info on the biochemistry of low carb, and some of my musings on health, weight and nutrition. I’ll post the podcast episode with Casey when it drops!

That’s kale. I ate it way before it was cool. Raw.