Demand Dialogue

Before you march with Queers for Palestine...

My friend Jill at The Liberal Jew wrote about the words of Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde at the Washington National Cathedral. The rabbi at the synagogue I attend, whose name also happens to be Jill, spoke about the same words last night at services.

I knew something was up when Rabbi Jill, the senior rabbi, said that the junior rabbi was going to take the children fifth grade and under to Jewish story time. That never happens. In churches I’ve been in, it’s customary for the children to go to Children’s Church (which I always found insufferably boring so my parents let me stay for the sermon) before the sermon, but I’ve never seen it happen at synagogue.

What’s going to happen next? I wondered.

Rabbi Jill (we call her by her last name but I’m keeping it slightly anonymous here) went on to speak about the fear that some are feeling, and basically to say the same thing Jill the Liberal Jew said about an obligation to advocate for the members of the community who feel targeted by the Trump administration.

While I respect and admire the desire to advocate for the oppressed, the stranger, and anyone who is the victim of unjust authority, I would make a suggestion to both of my favorite Jill’s and to anyone in the Jewish or Zionist community (there are a lot of us who aren’t Jewish, even those who aren’t in the “not yet” camp like me) who is thinking of moving energy away from the fight against antisemitism and for Israel: don’t forget how many progressives didn’t just abandon us but actively denounced us in the months since October 7. By all means, engage. But do not give them a pass on putting a knife in your collective back after you marched with them for generations.

Demand dialogue.

As I listened to Rabbi Jill, who is an eloquent preacher and a great leader, talk about standing up for those who are in fear of Trump for about twenty minutes, I mentally counted up the number of minutes spent talking about and praying for the hostages during the service. Maybe two. Three max. Maybe less than two.

Thousands of people in the Party of Performative Meltdowns will spend the next four years melting down or perhaps constructively organizing to defend immigrants, LGBTQ+, BLM, and any number of other groups. Where were these people when Israeli women were raped and dragged into captivity? Where were the performative meltdowns then? We had our meltdowns in private, and many of my friends were afraid to speak out because that progressive Left might punish them professionally. I was afraid I would be attacked because I am known as a Zionist in an antiZionist neighborhood known for violence.

I am all for dialogue, cooperation, and reaching across whatever aisle may exist. I have friends on all sides, good friends. I want to work together in spite of differences and work through conflict instead of cutting off friends or canceling people.

But please, don’t pretend that everything is the way it was before many (not all!) of these progressives showed their true colors after October 7. Ask them tough questions before you spend your precious, powerful and finite time and energy on their issues. While at one time we might have thought we were all one, people who need to stick together to stand up to the powerful who would harm any number of marginalized groups, we saw that when it comes to Jews, well, you just don’t count to the Left.

I say this not as a Jew, which I can not claim to be, but as someone who has been in social justice/left politics for many, many years. I became a union organizer in 1996 and was a leader in the labor movement for 20 years. I went on to work in harm reduction for people who use substances, a community that has solidly turned against Israel, Jews, and anyone who cares about Western civilization - odd since as with LGBT folks, radical Islamists would kill drug users fast too.

My friend in Boston said this over a year ago in a quote for my article “I Stand With My Jewish Friends”:

I think it’s really important for people on the Left to hear this. Jews in my synagogue are feeling abandoned and betrayed by so many people they previously thought of as allies. I think it’s important for these activists to realize that when they refuse to condemn the actions of Hamas (or even celebrate them!), they’re doing irreparable damage to their relationships with a group that has historically shown up and fought hard for social justice in this country. Folks in my synagogue who have, time and time again, marched in BLM protests will be far less likely to do so in the future, not because they don’t believe black lives matter but because they simply can’t walk in solidarity with people who were happy to throw them under the bus when they needed support.

Remember how angry you were then? You had good reason to be. Hold the Left accountable for their failure to condemn Hamas’ attacks, their failure to do one thing to release the hostages, and their failure to protect Jewish students and others when you were under attack.

We are still under attack. It is far from over. To think that this short ceasefire, while Hamas rebuilds and most of the hostages aren’t even promised to be released, is the beginning of some kind of Two State lasting peace euphoria is a hallucination.

This time last year, there was tight security at my synagogue. It made me feel safe. You had to show the contents of your bag, there was security at the door, and you were welcomed by many uniformed guards with “Shabbat shalom.”

Now, security stands at the desk. Anyone can walk in the door, carrying anything. High alert is over. I no longer feel as safe. We are a target. We need to act like it, and protect ourselves.

Israel was caught unprepared on October 7. It is not for me to discuss why - those more educated have discussed it at length. But I can tell you that if we think the threat of antisemitism in this country is gone we are putting ourselves in danger. I respect the decision of my sisters and brothers to put their energy wherever they see fit, but I will put all of mine into this fight.

For those who do decide to work on progressive causes, please ask for some accountability from your so-called partners. Maybe the Queers for Palestine could explain their position, perhaps even take down their “Abolish Israel” or “Glory to our Martyrs” posters while you’re in the room?

I may have a different perspective because I live in a neighborhood where “Hamas” is carved into the sidewalk, “FREE PALESTINE” is spray painted everywhere, and cartoons of Hamas fighters holding hands with keffiyeh-clad anarchists adorn the wall next to the trolley stop with a caption that reads, “From West Philly to the West Bank, Palestine will be free!”. I hear what they say when they’re walking down the street, and it isn’t very nice.

(At this point even I am sick of hearing me complain about my neighborhood - rest assured that I am working on a plan to move.)

Because I am not yet Jewish, I hear what non-Jews say when they think there are no Jews around. Here are some examples that I have heard since October 7:

“Israel has done a lot of bad things too.”

“It’s not antisemitism, it’s just anti-Zionism.”

“They should have just given them Brooklyn.”

“No, no, no, they don’t want to kill Jews…”

I have heard my honest reporting of what I heard directly from people I know discounted as hyperbole. I have been told that what I see and read and hear on the streets of West Philly is really just people wanting peace.

Everyone wants peace, but it isn’t happening until our enemies stop trying to destroy us, in Israel and everywhere else.

And make no mistake, my ten remaining non-Jewish friends: it’s not just about Jews. It’s about all of Western civilization. Those who hate Israel hate everything the West stands for, including the very freedoms that they say Trump is attacking, like the freedom to live in the body you feel you were meant to live in or to marry whom you choose.

So before you offer you time, expertise, creativity, networks, and all the amazing talents you have to progressive causes, ask them to back us up instead of throwing us under the bus.

And tell them hello from me, because while I think they realize I said goodbye some time ago, I do like to remain friends.

I put in a great hibiscus as a show of my goodwill.