99 problems

But a bison ain't one

Many of you probably felt like you had problems on election night. Some of you definitely did. But I’m guessing that of all the problems you had, a bison in your front yard was not one.

A close friend of my family lives in the country outside Reading, PA, which is beautiful and very rural. She grew up there and is scared to come into Philly (me too, and I live here, btw) but is not scared of anything in the country. So when my mom asked her on Tuesday how her day was, she said, “A bison was in my front yard this morning.” Like it was no big deal.

I, personally, would be alarmed if a bison were in my front yard. How about you?

The bison then wandered what my mom considered a long distance but what would not be such a long distance to a large migratory animal, to the old cemetery across the street from the church my mom used to serve!

I have a picture of the bison paying her respects (it was a girl, we found out, pronouns she/her/bison’s) to the dead. I can’t seem to get it to download from my phone but I will once I get some technical issues solved. She was quite beautiful and well… large.

Country folk are not so alarmed by such things, and she was peacefully returned to her farm, which apparently is nearby.

In the wreckage that is urban America, trash on the sidewalks, collapsing buildings, a bar that blew up over a year ago (literally, I mean) on the corner still standing and dropping glass from its windows onto passersby, there is one thing you don’t have to worry about: a bison in your front yard.

I think.