I never play jokes that hurt or upset people, but I do like to do an April Fool’s joke on my blog. So I spent quite a bit of time trying to come up with one.
First, I was going to say that I’m moving to Israel. I worked on a story about my friend Ari getting me a job with a company that conducts tours for Christians in Israel, but I realized this just was not that believable.
Then I thought of saying I’m converting to be Orthodox, but I feel like you don’t joke about religion. If that ever happens, I’ll tell you straight up.
I once convinced my blog readers, many years ago, that I was going to start medical school at 35. All these people wrote that I would be such a good doctor. They are wrong. I do not like to touch people or have any contact with bodily fluids or germs if I can avoid it.
I was thinking of telling my friend in Pittsburgh that I’m moving to Pittsburgh, but that would either give him a heart attack or he’d be disappointed to find out it’s not true, and I really don’t want to know which.
So I have no joke for you today. I’m sorry.
If I told you I was getting a dog or another cat, you would know it was a lie because Loviefluffy is a jealous goddess and will accept no other beings before her.
If I said I was getting married, some of you might believe it, but others might be alarmed and annoyed.
No one would believe it if I said I had gone off Star Wars.
So I’m at a loss. Not funny.
Have some tulips instead.
I like you, April. And that’s no joke. I wish you happiness and good health.
Writing about the sort of April Fool's jokes you could have played and decided not to works fine as an April Fool's post. In the alternative, though you are a kind person so would not have thought of this, you could have done an "April's Fools" blog and written briefly about the assortment of fools who have crossed your path in the past year or two.